Find Your WHO and Manage the WHAT
Posted by Sue - Admin on Jan. 16, 2025 / Subscribe 0
As coaches, we’re trained to focus on the WHO rather than the WHAT. But what if you could help your clients discover who they are in a more tangible way? What if you could guide them in dialing up their best selves to navigate conflict more effectively?
It’s the Thought That Counts: Mastering the Art of YOU vs. you is a powerful resource designed to help clients unlock their internal identity. This internal identity—our most natural self—is defined by our Values, Pillars (our best self), and Ideal Emotion. This identity, or our WHO, is often derailed by a single Trigger Thought (yes, just one). By identifying their "bucket" of WHO words, clients can better understand what Values are clashing, whether the Trigger is taking control, or if their Pillars are retreating because they perceive the challenge as insurmountable.
By pinpointing which thoughts are affected, clients can reframe the issue and identify a solution. Since 90% of our struggles stem from our thoughts, learning to "think about thinking" is transformative. With tools, reflective questions, and worksheets, coaches can empower clients to develop sustainable self-reflection practices.
Clients can resolve conflict effectively by following these three simple steps:
- Pause and Breathe: Create space to interrupt emotional escalation.
- Ponder: Reflect on which thoughts were impacted and de-escalate emotions.
- Pivot: Redirect focus to the best self previously identified to find clarity and resolve the conflict.
Conflict is a mental construct—different people can perceive the same situation in completely different ways. The perception of the Something Happened moment is both the problem and the key to the solution.
Another useful strategy is to establish a "thought committee." Encourage clients to label the "characters" in their mind and use this awareness to de-escalate emotions. As emotions calm, clarity increases, allowing clients to determine the best course of action.
Every thought matters. By helping clients find their WHO, they can better manage the WHAT, instantly de-escalating challenging moments and unlocking meaningful solutions.
Dana Lynn Bernstein - www.myWHOthoughts.com
Click here to pre-order the book (arrives on Valentine’s Day)
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